Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Free Sex for Climate Change: The Copenhagen Report

Delegates at the Climate Change conference in Copenhagen will be treated to free sex over the duration of the talks. Sex workers in the city have offered sex  absolutely free to any delegate who produces their conference badge and a postcard circulated by the Copenhagen Mayor, Ritt Bjerregaard. The mayor had sent the eco-friendly post cards to the City hotels with the message, “Be Sustainable: Don’t buy sex.” While the intention had been either to discourage the trade or to pretend that it is not as vibrant as it is, the result has been the exact opposite.

The “working girls” have retaliated by offering their services free of charge to patrons who do not even have to show a passport. Only their badge and warning card. For an industry that is legal and government regulated, one would have expected the Mayor to look kindly upon the ladies who would be generating revenues for the city of Copenhagen. But maybe that was the original intention, to create a controversy that would give the “working girls” some publicity amidst the clutter of environmentalists, demonstrators and government agents. Free samples. The oldest marketing trick for the oldest profession.

But the Climate Sex trick is hardly the only controversy in Copenhagen. Over 1000 emails were leaked with scientific evidence supporting critics’ belief that global warming estimates have been exaggerated. The emails allegedly form the Climate Research Unit (CRU) at the University of East Anglia, England have now come to be known as Climategate borrowing from the American Watergate scandal. The messages claim that the information collected by CRU, used by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change was tampered with in the production of the IPCC Fourth Assessment Report, 2007.

The Copenhagen tale twists even farther with the leakage of the Danish Text. This is the name that has been given to a leaked proposal by the Danish contingent and said to represent the positions of a handful of developed countries including Denmark, the UK and the US. Developed countries have joined the chorus of protesters protest in objection to their non inclusion in the agreement and claiming that it demands more of them than did the Kyoto Protocol. The developed countries have promised to present a counter proposal that may not be much different but will massage their egos in the guise of participation.

It is clear therefore that Copenhagen is the venue for yet another story of love, hate and conflict. To complete this novella is free sex for the delegates. They have my attention. As the delegates drain their minds to protect the earth for future generations, may they also multiply and fill the earth with exactly that future generation. To the “working girls” in the red light districts of Copenhagen, “Bravo!” You are playing your part in the larger scheme of things.

The Tin Man.


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